Today was really, obnoxiously windy. I wonder how that impacts my chances.
I got out around 1:30PM, did a really fast approach as soon as I left the subway (married with twins, I guess. She ages well), and almost immediately didn’t feel it. I had like a minor anxiety attack. Thoughts started race through my head such as “I can’t do this. I need a break. I’ve been doing this too much. I’m out too late in the day”. It’s amazing the bullshit my mind fabricates to keep me from breaking a sweat. This feeling went away after a few approaches, when I become “in the zone” [chief].
I’ve noticed that while it seems like about the same amount of girls are interested in getting together, there are far fewer “instant flees”.
I also notice that I am MUCH more comfortable in my interactions / approaches. I think this relaxes the girls a bunch too.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that when stopping someone who’s walking, it helps a LOT if I am in slightly in front of them…. So they see me and aren’t startled. This has probably also contributed to the flee rate decrease.
Could I possibly be getting better? Oh shit, does this mean it’s a skill? I was hoping it was pure strategy. I guess it makes sense there’s some skill involved. Maybe there’s a base amount and then it’s all about the strategy/numbers? Is the “formula” really that complicated? Well, I am not entirely convinced it’s a skill, but now more open to it. I guess the plus of it being a skill means I’ll get better….
OK, so when I become convinced of a finding, I will commit a theory. Note that here, just like in actual science, a theory can be falsified upon further evidence. I’ll also keep a theories page.
Theory 1: There is an activation energy when approaching, that once reached, makes things a lot easier and more effective.
Also, it generally takes a few goes to get over this activation energy, and puts me “into the zone”. I’m noticing the amount of time it takes may be getting shorter.
Few interesting approaches:
I was sitting inside eating lunch when I noticed a gorgeous girl walk by. I dropped my burrito, and had to run out of the packed restaurant to flag down the girl. She’s probably one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen. We spoke for a while, but she had a boyfriend. This is another reason I favor the street-direct style… These kind of girls are super rare as is, so when I see one, I want to be able to have a shot!
Later on, as the day was winding down, I was in one of the snobbiest parts of town (because I like being rejected by snooty models?). I saw this stereotypical gorgeous blond girl (another one). I guess due to social programming my instinct was she wouldn’t be very pleasant.
Well, she had a boyfriend. BUT! Not only did she light up like a Kwanza Bush, but she said that “girls LOVE it when guys do this”. I should “totally keep doing this”. She said I was cute and it’ll work for me. She looked sincerely flattered, was gushing emotion, and looked like she was almost ready to hug me (which ironically made me a bit uncomfortable, lolz). Thanks a lot pretty blonde lady!
All told, great day. It took 9 approaches to exchange contact info. OK, so this might just be how it goes! Also, I only had 2 “flees”, which is down a LOT. So, I think I am increasing in competency for stopping folks in a non threatening way.
Kind of hilariously, I had a few girls ask what I wanted/what I was trying to sell them. Even though I’m trying to be direct about my intents, must not always be coming across sincerely. Maybe I should start giving more spontaneous compliments?
I guess it also goes to show that people in NYC are programmed to ignore people talking to them on the streets (there’s a lot of pan handling / people selling stuff /people wanting money). Well, if my career doesn’t work out, maybe my skills at stopping people will make me a great charity solicitor.
- 20 approaches (16 direct street)
- 3 to follow up on
- 1 super cute personal cheerleader! (if you’re reading, thanks! And I hope the interview went well!)
- I got anxiety, but powered through it like a boss
- I’m getting MUCH better at this. Generally girls will stop and talking with me even if they have a boyfriend. We both generally are smiling, having fun. Only 2 “flees” and I don’t even recall if they were cold.
- Looks like this might be skill based, yikes.