Before I get into the meat of this day, I wanted to say thanks for the support you guys gave me over my last post. Things do get hard and while I do not have any intention of giving up, the temptation is definitely there. I appreciate the kind posts and emails!
Day 9 was OK. Nothing stand outish, but definitely bounced back from yesterday.
Spent a lot of time walking around non dense areas looking for girls to talk to. I need to stick to the dense areas. Though, I really don’t want to run into the same folks too much. I may have to start seeking out new areas soon.
I also had a coffee date today. I feel like it didn’t go that well and this girl wouldn’t want to hang out again. Let me vent a bit about dates.
I’ve definitely felt this way for a while… Like often I’ll go on a date, and it just won’t be super fun. It’ll be awkward. Like, I’ll have boring, factual conversation or I’ll try to relate to a girl “emotionally” and it comes off weird. I’ve done the other end of the spectrum where I’m super aggressive/touchy/kissing early on in the date and that just feels like a bit too much…. Ideally, we’d joke around, flirt, and chat but I find it really difficult to get into that state of mind… especially in the middle of the day or after a hard’s day work.
I find the great dates I’ve had (which haven’t been recent) were just easy. I settled on the reason being that the girls just wanted the date to go well and helped keep it flowing. So maybe the girl has to be into me already in order for the date to go (I mean, she’s probably already somewhat into me if she’s meeting up…. but maybe really into me or something). I wonder if this is a cop-out and I need to up my ante on making a date more fun. Maybe I should do something beyond just grabbing drinks/coffee
Note: I don’t do dinner dates until we’re well into a relationship-y phase… for a bunch of reasons – namely they can be awkward, there’s no easy exit if things don’t go well, they’re costly, and spending a bunch of money up front seems to communicate “I want to impress you, please like me”. Hilariously, some female friends I’ve mentioned this to have gotten indignant for my not doing a “proper” dinner first date… I cynically wonder if they’re just mad someone might be threatening their ticket to free fancy meals.
Perhaps if I start doing fun activities (like bowling, pool, or something more active) they’d get better. Perhaps it’s an experience thing and I’ll get better at dates the more I do them. Or maybe I just need to find the right girls…
Then again, I’ve ended up dating girls who I’ve gone out on dates, which I thought were boring… so maybe they don’t need to be fancy.
What do you guys do on dates to make them fun, not stuff?
- 5 approaches (normally wouldn’t count this day, but the date probably would have been another 5 or so)
- 1 to follow up on
- 1 date
- Stay in more dense areas
- I wonder if there’s a way to have more fun on dates instead of being super stiff