Day 12 – Some days you have it others don’t.

Again, dont’ think I ever reached “activation energy” today. Just wasn’t into it. Some days I’m into it, others not.

Taking huge chunks of time out of the day to do this hasn’t been ideal… Right now, I’m swinging 2-3 hours, which is already too big. I’m wondering if I should just do marathon sessions (20+ approaches) on the weekends. Sure, they’re exhausting, but I think doing that many approaches puts me in the zone. Whereas doing 7ish every day is kinda weak.

Both Day 11 and Day 12 I’ve had a hard time finding girls at first. Walking around for 30/45 minutes before doing a single approach. It’s possible this could be because I’m not warmed up (and am wussing out). I wonder if it’s just luck of the draw.

I also have that sentiment again – the whole “dang this is a lot of work and effort for little results”. Really, though, it’s not that much effort in the grand scheme of things. Especially if it’ll actually work. Have had some promising results so far! Just have to keep searching for those girls!

One thing change I’ve noticed is that I speak deeper now. Maybe it’s “speaking with my diaphragm”, but just having a deeper voice in general makes me feel more confident, cool… Yes when I’m on the streets, but also in ordinary life. Maybe it’s a personal life hack… but I did notice this 3 or so years ago also. I was at a trade show for work and was manning a booth. I had to stop people walking by. I remember many people blatantly ignored me, but once I started speaking with a deeper voice, people stopped. I guess the higher voice is just weaker (conveys being unsure or wanting something? I dunno).

Also went on another date. It went very well. Was at a louder, cool bar. I feel like being loud encourages the adrenalin, etc to get pumping and makes it easier to socialize and joke. Really, joking I think is key. Just having fun. Laughing. Being silly.

Though I was still denied a smooch. When I was younger getting denied a kiss used to get me down. Though, in my experience, just ignoring the denial and proceeding is the way to handle it… no joke – have actually dated girls who denied me 3-4 times before giving in… Yeah – wtf.  Women you are a riddle inside an enigma shrouded in mystery. I’ll have to write some more about my thoughts on kissing on the first date, etc later…

Anyways back to the date. I def realize that the beginning was a little slow and awkward, but (maybe with her help) we just joked a bit more and greased things up. Looks like an individual date itself may also have an activation energy. She mentioned after that “she had a really fun time and we need to ‘keep in touch'”. Woot woot.

Note – also just set up a second date with a girl with whom I thought the first date went spectacularly bad. I was like 99% sure she wouldn’t answer let alone excitedly agree to meet up again. Weird. This is why I just blindly continue with women until I run into a brick wall. I generally try to push the wall for a while then…

Stats

  • 8 approaches
  • 0 to follow up on (meh whatevs)
  • 1 date

Summary

  • Talking in deep voice = good thing for guys to do (at least me)
  • Dates are starting to ramp up… things getting more interesting (I think these things just take time to schedule, etc too!)
  • Doing a second date with someone that I thought hated my guts. Women are confusing. Just keep going until they make it very clear you should stop. You brought this on yourselves.

 

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4 Responses to Day 12 – Some days you have it others don’t.

  1. John says:

    What would you do if you started to get serious in a relationship with one of these people, like say the girl you want on a date with today? Would you continue doing approaches and looking for more dates or would you just call it a success and stop?

    • Good question.

      I am pretty committed to getting these 30 days done, though finding someone is perhaps the only reasonable reason to prematurely stop.

      That being said, I doubt even if I am currently seeing a girl who will turn into my girlfriend, it’ll happen very soon. In my experience, it takes time to build up familiarity, a connection, the experiences etc.

      I’ve had experiences in the past where I thought I was on track to girlfriend a girl and then the situation explodes (she goes back to old bf, flakes out, etc)… despite everything seemingly going well. For this reason, it’s only smart to keep seeing folks in parallel (naturally, I’m open about seeing other people until such a time as we decide to stop).

  2. JJ says:

    Keep going! You can do it, we all have faith in you! You’re the outgoing confident guy that are inside all of us, don’t stop now!

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